The Current Sauce

Issue date: 11/11/09 Section: Opinions

hen one starts drinking he begins a climb up a mountain of adventure, and the peak of that mountain is the perfect state of inebriation.
The cost of that climb is the journey downhill.
The type of alcohol that is drunk will affect a person's pace to the peak as well as his decent.
There are drinks that make people friendly and drinks that make people angry. Some drinks help spark new ideas and creativity while others destroy friendships and reputations.
I discovered such a drink recently. It is a mix of liquids that does bad things to good people.
The first time I heard of it was in a book I was reading called I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, by Tucker Max. He mixed Gatorade, Red Bull and Everclear together to create a drink he called the "Tucker Max Death Mix."
The Death Mix will speed up the climb to the peak.
The climb is the most enjoyable part of drinking. It is the period when you are the most relaxed, talkative and friendly. You begin making new friends as you talk up the whole bar, and everyone there is starting to like you more and more, or so it seems to you at least.
When drinking beer, the climb could take hours, but liquor could quicken that process.
Either way, you still feel care free as you start flirting with random people and start making your way to the dance floor. This is your chance to show off dance moves you thought embarrassing before. There's no room for shyness at this point when you're the most likeable person of the party.

Creativity flows wild for some drinkers at this point. Alcoholism, although a disease for some, is used as a tool for new ideas by others.

Ernest Hemmingway, Edgar Allan Poe and even world leaders have shown greatness while being drunker than an Irish dockworker.

Just think of how different World War II would have been if Franklin D. Roosevelt and Winston Churchill had been sober. It no longer surprises me that Adolf Hitler was the only teetotaler.

At that point of comfort and creativity, you have reached the peak. You have reached the high point of the night when you believe nothing could go wrong.

Then you trip, but it's no big deal because you're just a little drunk.

Then, you trip again.

When someone asks you if you're OK, your slurred response makes you wonder why you're acting like this. Then you realize it. You have begun the decent.

It's too late to stop it now with the alcohol already running through your body. All you can hope for is that your choice of drink for the night will allow your decent to be an easy one.

Continued...

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